hello,my name is tian jiaxin ,i'm twelve year age .I had a happy family,they are four people in my family，there are my father,my mother,my brother and I .                                                           i like me. do you like me?

修改后：

Hello, my name is Tian Jiaxin. I'm twelve years age. I have a happy family. There are four people in my family. They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.  They all like me. How about you?

    六年級(jí):田佳鑫

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